Pastor Rick Warren, author of many GREAT biblically based books, put together an awesome series on crazy makers. GET NEEDED SKILLS that you did NOT learn in school, or maybe even from your parents or at church. Five SUPERB messages to hear and share:
1) Wise people never do these things in relationships (James)
2) The button people who purposely try to provoke us into anger
3) Biblical steps to resolving conflict in a world full of trials
4) Healthy Boundaries, by Doctor Townsend
5) How to identify and avoid getting married to a crazy maker
“The righteous chooses his friends carefully.” Prov. 12:26 (ESV)
GOD does not choose our mates for us. FOOLISH: I am not going to date, I am going to wait. GOD can steer a car that is moving, He cannot steer a parked car. GOD leads us, GOD guides us. TRUTH is biblical, not logical. Being single gives you a solitary purpose. A bad union is worse than being single. ASK GOD, and choose wisely. “Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can 'right' and 'wrong' be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness?… Can a believer share life with an unbeliever?” 2 Cor. 6:14-15 (GW) Romantic myth is that there is only one person on the planet for us to marry. GOD gives us choice. LOVE is a CHOICE. Love is not enough to get married. NON negotiable points that prevent God's best - Seek God's blessing and protection, and trust His word for a marriage that will bring Him glory:1) Spiritual Unity is a must for emotional and sexual intimacy
a) attend church together b) read bible together c) pray together
“I want us to help each other with the FAITH we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.” Rom. 1:12 (NCV) Don't get involved with missionary dating, to convert them to your faith after the marriage. It is easier to pull somebody down than up. 2) Life Purpose Compatability, headed in the same direction for God's purpose. Standing before God, He will ask "Did you fulfill your purpose?" God shaped me and gifted me for His purpose. He will not ask what denomination you attended. ASK before you leap: Are we ONE in CHRIST to work towards a compatible purpose? “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” Amos 3:3 (NLT) “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Eph. 2:10 (NIV) “Each of you has received a gift from God for serving others. Now you must be faithful to develop and use that gracious gift from God!” 1 Peter 4:10 (NCV) “Brothers and sisters, you are holy partners in a heavenly CALLING.” Heb. 3:1a (GW) 3) BOTH MUST BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY - not perfect, but aware that both are BROKEN and in NEED of grace. We all marry sinners, the bible says "we all have sinned and fall short" Some are more broken than others. They may look good, smell great and treat you like royalty, but emotionally they remain in denial about their fears. God says to AVOID these people: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man! Do not associate with one easily angered.” Prov. 22:24 (NIV) “Don't associate with people who drink too much, or stuff themselves with food.” Prov. 23:20 (TEV)
a) NO uncontrolled anger
b) NO addictions (drugs, porn, sports, spending,food)
c) NO bitterness
“Make sure you all have experienced the grace of God so that bitterness doesn't take root and grow, because that causes much trouble and will corrupt you.” Hebrews 12:15 “If you curse your father or mother, the lamp of your life will be snuffed out. “ Prov. 20:20 (NLT) Whatever we resent we begin to resemble. Whatever we resist, we persist. "I will never be like my dad!" Repent, do not resist - confess any bitterness towards anybody! Any issues with a parent, the mate will take the brunt of any unrepented bitterness. 4) NO SELFISH PEOPLE - “Selfish people cause trouble.” Prov. 28:25 “People who do not get along with others are only interested in themselves; they will disagree with what everyone else knows is right.” Prov. 18:1 (TEV) CONFLICT = I want what I want, and you want what you want. “A greedy man brings trouble to his family.” Prov. 15:27 “Don't eat at the table of a stingy person.” Prov. 23:6 (TEV) Greedy people buy what they dont need to impress people they do not know. “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Prov. 11:25 (NIV) CHOOSE the opposite of SELFISH, choose a GENEROUS, KIND person. “A kindhearted woman gains respect, and a kind man benefits himself, but a cruel people brings trouble on themselves.” Prov. 11:17 5) NO LIARS - CHOOSE an honest person. God says nothing about appearance, for God looks at the heart, not what people wear. Do Hollywood marriages last? “A righteous person lives on the basis of his integrity. His children will be blessed, even after he is gone.” Prov. 20:7 ~ BE WISE and ask God for the courage to END A dead-end dating relationship that does not meet what GOD says will bless you. “In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.” Prvb. 28:23 (NLT) GOD always gives His best to those who look to Him when making life decisions. DETERMINE within the first few dates; talking ~ establish compatibility and choose.
MEMORY VERSE lesson 4 "IN HIS PRESENCE" "You reveal the path of life to me;in Your presence is abundant joy; in Your right hand are eternal pleasures. " Psalm 16:11 NKJV ~ What is the purpose of the manifestation of God's presence to His inner circle of Peter, James and John? It is believed that the presence of Moses and Elijah represents the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets by Jesus Christ. In this holy encounter Jesus is preparing His followers for what is about to occur. Their FAITH will be tested, but by reflecting on this mountain top experience, it will bring to mind that God confirmed Jesus will change their LIFE and destiny in supernatural ways. Jesus said "ELIJAH is coming and will restore everything." Matthew 17:1-13 NKJV ~ The disciples questioned why the scribes say that Elijah must come first? God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit must come first, and He has already come, that you may have LIFE and live it fully!
GOOD NEWS in AVOIDING THE CRAZY MAKERS; Continual JOY is based on the everlasting, un-impeded, presence of God. Choose someone that will NOT impede or prevent the JOY of the Lord in your heart, home and relationship. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, NEW things have come." 2 Corin 5:17 HOLMAN CLICK into LINK on the right and don't BLINK or you will miss the important TOOLS to deal with the CRAZY MAKERS in your life. Saddleback is a HEALTHY thriving church in Southern California, it is the birth place of Celebrate Recovery.